“If you cannot say anything nice about someone, then do not say anything at all.” How many times have you heard that phrase from your mother, especially after you have had a “words” fight with your brother or sister? At school, the principal says, “It takes a big (or bigger) man to back down from a fight.”
We all know it is a “dog-eat-dog” world. You have to step on many people to get to the top. “Nice guys always finish last.” And if you do not take advantage of this world, what have you got to show for life? Many cliche’s have come to be an excuse for why we break this commandment. But if you look very closely at why this commandment is broken, you will find that it is broken by the ones who have their values and priorities mixed up. Is our concern for others shown when we defame their good name? Are our minds really set on things above when we try to make it big in this world because that is all we think we have?
In all actuality, our Bible reading from Proverbs has the best advice for “getting back” at others, and it is not being mean. Rather, it is by being sincere. I do say by being sincere, for, it we are not sincere, the other person will feel no remorse. Our sincere attempt to be nice to someone who has hurt or defamed us in any way will heap coals of guilt on their head. Remember, vengeance is the Lord’s.
It is not easy being nice to someone who has treated you cruelly. It is easier to join in and “bad mouth” someone whom everyone else is “bad mouthing.” It is not easy to say good things about someone whom everyone else is “bad mouthing.” Of course, it is not easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it. Memorize Proverbs 25:21-22 (If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you). The next time someone intentionally hurts you or tries to start an argument or fight with you simply out of spite, try to recognize their intent, count to ten, and return the abuse with kindness. You will be amazed at the reaction you will get. You may even, in the process, lose all your enemies. How? By making them your friends.
It is one thing to listen to others “bad mouth” someone and it is another thing to join in. Martin Luther had some good advice when he said to close one ear when listening to someone. The closed ear is to listen to the person being talked about, thus getting both sides of the story.
Maybe if we try to do what Luther suggested in his explanation of this commandment, we would all make it to the top. He said that we should look for the best in others and build one another up. I believe that in doing so, we too will be built up. Today we might say, let us affirm one another. As the cliche’ goes, “You can catch more flies with honey.” You are great!
Dear Lord, forgive me when I try to make myself look better by tearing down others. Thank You for making me the person I am, a special person, so special that You sent Your only Son, Jesus, especially for me. Help me to turn from putting others down to building up others. For Jesus’ sake. Amen.
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