JDL - Direction Eleven - Fathers - the head of the family

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 (ESV))

God is a God of love. Everything God does for us, everything He gives to us, He gives because of His love for us. The ultimate sign of His love for us was in the giving of His Son, Jesus, for our sins. And just in that imagery we gain a wealth of understanding of our great God. He is indeed our Father in heaven. As our Father in heaven, He is our greatest parent. As our greatest parent, He sets boundaries for us. The boundaries He sets are not boundaries to stifle us, not to confine us, not to take away our “freedoms”, but to give us order so that we might have harmony and peace and live in harmony and peace with one another.

Unfortunately, we live in a world, in a time, and in a culture that often looks negatively at boundaries. A boundary means an obstacle for many. A boundary is an unfair block for others. A boundary is not a good thing we are taught, but a bad thing. Even as a child, we see boundaries, and we fight against them, or better said, we test them. Our parents put up boundaries, and they do so for our good, but we test them. Perhaps, putting the best construction on everything, we are testing the boundaries to make sure they are there. Boundaries are good things, and they keep us safe.

God has given us certain boundaries. He has given us certain roles. He does this, not in order to restrict us, but in order to keep us safe. One of the boundaries He gives is that the father is the head of the family. As mentioned earlier, just as a company cannot function with two presidents, so a family cannot function with two heads. And so, according to the order of creation (God created Adam and then Eve) and for the sake of good order, God has given the father to be the head of the family, and God will thus hold him accountable for his headship.

As the head of the family the father is responsible for the family. The father is responsible for the social, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of the family. The father is the one who is responsible for making sure the family is fed, clothed, and protected. The father is the one who is responsible for making sure the family is in divine service and Bible class. The father is the one to lead family devotions and to teach the children how to pray. This is the father’s responsibility, but it is not his to bear as a lone person bearing this, but he bears this burden with the help of his wife, his help meet, and with the help and cooperation of his children.

Thus, the father’s responsibility is to raise his children in the training, in the nurture and instruction of the Lord. And here we can go back to understanding that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and that without this basic building block of raising the children with a strong spiritual foundation then all else is for naught. And so we see how a Jesus directed life is a life which begins with Jesus, continues through the day with Jesus and ends the day commending oneself into Jesus’ care and protection. This training, nurture and instruction is the responsibility of the father to commit this care to his children. With such care he is instilling in his children the importance of their relationship with Jesus. He does this instructing through modeling, that is through example in his own life and relationship with Jesus, but also through teaching, through early on in the life of the children of reading Bible stories, having personal and family devotions and praying for and with his children. And Jesus will perfect it.

Think About
What are we as parents modeling for our children? Are we modeling a cooperative relationship which includes accountability, or are we modeling a rebellious relationship which includes contending against one another?

Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your gifts of roles and order. Forgive me when I am contentious toward others and You. Help me to model good and appropriate behavior for my children. In Jesus’ name. Amen.