JDL - Direction Thirteen - Children

Honor your father and your mother. (The Fourth Commandment)

When my niece turned thirteen she announced that she would now be sitting at the “adult table” at family get-togethers. More often than not, when a person turns eighteen or twenty-one, that person believes they are now an adult. Unfortunately, there are people who are fifty, sixty and seventy years old who do not act like adults, and there are children younger than thirteen who do act responsibly. Age does not make one an adult.

We have talked about the roles of adults, of husbands and wives, of fathers and mothers, and even of single adults, but what is the role of a child? The role of a child is to honor, which means to serve, love, and obey one’s parents. Parents are gifts God gives to children just like children are gifts God gives to parents, and so parents and children are to have love and honor for one another.

The role of a child is to be a child. The child is to grow and learn. In particular the child is to grow and learn in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The more the child can grow in this way the better prepared s/he will be for the “real” world as it is often called.

Children are to love their parents. This means obeying them even if they do not like what their parent tells them. They are to obey because their parent is the one who is ultimately responsible for them until they reach adulthood (and we know how much trouble that is to define), that is until they are responsible enough to care for themselves.

The younger the child the more obedient s/he should be. As the child grows older, s/he should also grow more mature. Then the child will move from being obedient to being respectful. To be respectful is to show honor and love by gladly serving and listening to one’s parents.

So, at what age do we not have to honor our parents? The answer to that question is at no age. Yes, even when we grow and mature, even when we reach the age of adulthood (eighteen or twenty-one), even if we are not yet mature as adults, and even if we have a maturity level as an adult at an earlier age, we are still our parents’ children, and we are to live as such. We are to honor our father and mother no matter what our age and no matter what their age.

Certainly our relationship with our parents changes as we grow older, and as one or both parents become incapable of making decision, we become the one’s who are to make decisions for them. Yet, our honoring them never ceases.

Likewise, as we honor our parents and as we model that honoring to our own children, we might then look forward to the day when our own children will honor us even as we too would become incapable of making decisions for ourselves.

Jesus modeled honoring His parents even on the cross when He remembered His mother and provided a new son for her in the person of the disciple whom He loved, John. Certainly a Jesus-directed life will include honoring our parents no matter their age or our own age.

Think About
Do you still respect, honor, and love your parents even if you are a parent yourself? How do your children see you relating to your parents? Is the way you treat your parents the way you want your children to treat you when your grow older?

Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gifts of parents and children. Forgive me when I fail to love, honor, and cherish my parents and children. Help me to better reflect Your love to those You have given me to love. For Jesus’ sake. Amen.